About a month ago a man came in and said he was shopping for his daughter. I thought he was just like any other dad coming in, but as we started talking I realized he was like no other customer we have ever had before. As Megan and I were helping him pick out an outfit, he told us his daughter (seven or eight years old I think) had just died of a brain tumor a few days ago and he was shopping for the outfit they would put her in for her wake. Megan and I were speechless. We had no idea what to say to this man. Here was this man doing, what I imagine, one of the hardest things someone would ever have to do in their life. We gave him our condolences and tried to assist him as much as we could but I could barely keep it together in the ten minutes we were talking him. Thankfully his wife came in to help him pick out the outfit. They ended up choosing two outfits, a blue one and a pink one, because they couldn’t decide.
About a week later I walk into Tween Girlz for my shift and I see him at the counter. I braced myself and walked up to him and Autumn at the register. She was just finishing up the return for the pink outfit he brought back. He looked over at me and said “we decided to go with the blue.” At that moment I couldn’t hold back my tears. I looked at Autumn and she was tearing up too. I felt so bad that I couldn’t even keep it together for two minutes in front of this guy who was probably dealing with so many random, blubbering strangers already. The last thing he needed was another pity party from the girls at Tween Girlz. But all he did was thank us for our help and as he was leaving he said “she really loved your clothes.” His eyes started to water and I had to look away.
After he left the store I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I tried putting myself in his position but I knew it was impossible to know what he was feeling. When thinking about planning funerals and wakes the main issues that come to mind are the guest lists and the flowers and who is going to say what at the ceremony. You never really think of the small things like going shopping for an outfit you think she would like. And it’s those little things that are the hardest of all I think.
I could never imagine doing something like this. I swear I could have never held it together, it would have been too hard. I'm sorry you had to go through that and even more sorry that happened to him. Life isn't fair sometimes but its the type of obstacles we have to deal with.
ReplyDeleteWow this entry gave me goosebumps. I don't think you tearing up was a sign of weakness in any way- on the contrary it was probably so moving for him to see someone be sympathetic to his situation who doesn't even know his daughter. Your blog is awesome by the way- such an original idea and you really choose great moments to share.
ReplyDeleteWow. I agree that a loss of his daughter is one of the hardest things that any dad can experience. Clothing is connected to a person's personality and tastes, so I agree with you when you said that shopping for the burial outfit is one of the hardest parts of planning the funeral for the dad. I think you handled it really well and I know that I would be at the point of tears as well. It is so sad when children die, especially when they die of cancer. I bet the dad appreciated the help and sympathy you gave him as he faced one of the hardest tasks of his entire life.
ReplyDeleteWow, you never think of having to bury one of your children--but it happens to people. The story reminds me that each day we are put in positions where we have the opportunity to be compassionate and show emphathy to those that need it. You being there to help with clothes was a small part of the the process of healing for this man.
ReplyDeleteWow, just reading this story almost made me tear up. That is so sad :( I honestly feel terrible for the father who was shopping for the clothes his daughter was to be buried in. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to help him choose an outfit. But rest assured, you were helping the man very much. At this point in his life, he needs all the help he can get, and you were providing just that. It probably brightened up his day to see all your smiling faces. For parents who lose children, I always hope that they have other children to keep them company. It is so sad when only children die. The parents are left with no one! That is why I have always thought it's a good idea to have more than one child. Anyway, such a sad story :(
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